Such is life

-Oh you child, you silly boy,
Why do you care, why do you try?
The past is past, it's so far gone,
Curiosity kills, why won't you learn?
Memories don't fade, they're concreted forever,
So why do you sit just to stew and suffer?
That girl will not vanish, so oh what a pity,
Your lives are just lives, not meant for together,
So just keep forgetting and try to remember,
no matter what happens,
This can't last forever.
-

So it's that time again, end of holidays and time to actually get into some homework! So in the spirit of good procrastination, I thought I better write a status update first to clear my mind out.

I'm such an idiot sometimes, the bare bones of it all being that I continue to do things that cause me pain. Why do I do that? I could argue with anyone all day about what I'm feeling and the potential factors behind it and whatever' truths. Sometimes I just lay here and let myself separate from the world, and yet I still find myself feeling that longing for that cold empty feeling in my chest. I also hate those moments where you question life, not in a "Why am I alive?" But "What is a life, why are we alive?"

I don't even know where this post is going. I've woken up this morning with a ridiculous pounding headache that won't leave me alone, and I can't shake this weightless cold fluid feeling in my chest. Another one of those 'Just let me close my eyes and float away' days. I'm going UNDER THE KNIFE later this week, not quite so dramatically, but it'll be nice to rest for half a week before uni goes back.

So I better get all these assignments out the way before I go back to uni, I have a bad feeling about the rest of this year X_x" I really feel like I've just lost my motivation for life, I have no idea where I am, Where I'm going, where I want to go and Why I should go. Just gotta live this out I guess ^^" This stupid thing we call 'life'.